5 Späti-Only Recipes for Corona Haute Cuisine

By Andrew Cottrill . March 30, 2020

How to cook like a Sternekoch using only your local Spätkauf.

As supermarkets become hotbeds of paranoia and empty toilet roll shelves, and people all over Berlin are realising that pesto and pasta is boring as fuck, Berlin Loves You comes to the rescue.

With a little imagination, Spätkaufs sell all you need to create delicious, strangely impressive dishes. Here, we’ll show you how to cook like a Sternekoch (or Sterni-koch) using only ingredients found in your local Spätkauf – but you’ll have to wait till the quarantine is over before you can show these off to all your friends.

Sternisburger Klopse

Sexed-up Frikadellen, or a poorman’s steak au poivre.

1 packet Frikadellen/Bouletten
1 pot Schlagsahne
1 0,02 bottle Goldkrone Weinbrand
1 tbsp Bautz’ner senf, pikant-süß

1) Empty packet of frikadellen, sniffing contents to ensure still edible. Throw large plastic waste into recycling bin.

2) In a medium-hot pan, gently fry the Frikadellen, turning regularly, until brown and warmed through.

3) Take the pan off the heat and pour in the Goldkrone. Set alight to flambee (keeping your cigarette at arm’s length).

4) Once the alcohol is burned off, put the pan back on the heat and add in the cream and spoonful of Bautz’ner. Stir and leave to simmer until thickened.

5) Plate the frikadellen and spoon the sauce over it. Serve with powdered mashed potato or Spätzle.

Spreewälder Sushi

A Berliner take on classic nigiri. It’s great for sharing – especially in isolation – and 100% vegan.

1 packet white rice
1 jar Spreewälder Gurken
1 tbsp Bautz’ner senf, mittelscharf
1 bottle Maggi-Würze (for dipping)

1) Boil rice in salted water until tender and all water has been absorbed. Take the pot off the heat, cover and allow to steam and cool for 30-40 minutes.

2) Drink 2 beers/3 glasses of wine while you wait.

3) Admire how disgusting the Gurken look in their jar.

4) With a sharp knife, slice the Spreewälder Gurken length-ways into thin strips (5 strips from each Gurke). Place a dab of senf
in the centre of each Gurken-strip.

5) With wet hands, form the rice into oval shapes, pressing firmly enough for the rice to keep its shape. Lay a strip of Gurke, senf-side down, on top of each rice oval and form them together.

6) Arrange Nigiri pieces on a decorative board or old pizza box. Pour the Maggi into a small dish for dipping.

Sammy’s Super Reuben Sandwich

Perhaps an improvement on Mogg’s famous Reuben – certainly cheaper.

1 loaf Sammy’s Super Sandwich, Vollkorn
1 Sucuk sausage
1 jar sauerkraut
4 slices Gouda
Prussian dressing (1 Tbsp each remoulade, Bautz’ner senf, scharf and ketchup,

1) Take 4 slices of Sammy’s Super Sandwich and check them for mould. Meanwhile, pre-heat a frying pan to a medium heat.

2) Unwrap and slice the Sucuk into long, thin slices. Take a few spoonfuls of sauerkraut and squeeze out excess liquid.

3) Butter the bread on both sides. Place two pieces into the pan and begin to build your Reuben, layering Prussian dressing, sauerkraut, Sucuk slices, cheese and more dressing and then the remaining two pieces of bread on top.

4) Gently fry the sandwich until golden and all melty, 5 minutes on each side.

5) Serve cut in half, with a Spreewälder Gurke and a bottle of Hasseröder Export.

Suppe a la Spandau

A perfectly poached egg really elevates this humble dish.

1 can tomato soup
1 egg
1 pack Funny Frisch Paprika chips

1) Find a can opener on the street or ask to borrow a neighbour’s.

2) Open the can of tomato soup, pour contents into a pot and heat through.

3) Using a medium heat, crack the egg into the centre of the pot and allow it the gently poach in the soup.

4) Once poached, transfer the soup into a bowl and place the egg in the centre.

5) Take a handful of Paprika chips and crush them into little pieces in your hands.

6) Scatter crushed chips over the top of the soup and serve.

Pfeffi Parfait

Luxurious and a little boozy – with this mint-cream dessert, it’s always After Eight.

1 pot Schlagsahne
1 pack chocolate biscuits
1 0,1 bottle Pfeffi (or Berliner Luft if you’re rich)
1 pack Puderzucker
1 bar dark chocolate

1) Smash the biscuits up with a beer bottle.

2) Combine half of the biscuit pieces in a bowl with melted butter. Divide the mixture into clean, straight-edged glasses and pack down to make a biscuit base. Leave filled glasses in the fridge to cool.

3) Have a shot of Pfeffi and smoke approx. 2 cigarettes.

4) Mix the cream, 25g sugar and a shot of Pfeffi in a bowl and whip until you have medium peaks. Alternately, you can ask someone who can cook to do this.

5) Spoon a large spoonful of Pfeffi cream into each glass, then sprinkle a layer of remaining biscuit. Repeat until the glasses are full, leaving a layer of cream on top.

6) Take the dark chocolate bar and grate over the desserts, using the finer, parmesan-side of the grater. Serve.

Illustrations by Johan Pergenius.


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