The Winners of the How to be German Contest!

By Catherine J. Fehre . August 20, 2013


Adam Fletcher’s book “How to be German in 50 Easy Steps” got us thinking about all those quirks Germans seem to share, so we asked you to give us some of your tips on how to be really German. We got some pretty good submissions, but we could only pick three, so here are the winners!

1st Place: Christine R.
A group of Germans will listen to me rant about some absurd bureaucratic rule that makes no sense, some silly rule that accomplishes nothing in the way of time or efficiency or financial gain. Their response: “Ja but this is normal! It makes sense! It must be like this!”
The next day, that same absurd useless bureaucratic rule is reversed and replaced with an entirely different absurd useless bureaucratic rule. About which I then rant to said group of Germans. Their response to the decision to change the first rule? “Ja but this is normal! Doch! It makes sense! Natürlich, it must be like this!”
Their response to the new absurd useless bureaucratic rule? “Ja but this is normal! It makes sense! Natürlich, it must be like this!”

2nd Place: Diana P.
If you are a male and a girl is hitting on you in a bar, just pretend you don’t notice. Otherwise she will just think you are easy.
Ride a bike. People that don’t know how to ride a bike are not real humans.

3rd Place: Anita A.
Draw an excel table with all the days of the year and time (of course do not write the calendar days, but number the weeks as WOCHEN 1, 2 etc.) and mark the days and the times of day (preferably early morning) when to have sex with your partner.

Congratulations! Each of you will receive a free copy of “How to be German in 50 Easy Steps” and a Berlin Loves You T-shirt. And remember, don’t stop trying to be like a German ;)


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