Xiroi’s Tommy and Tony really are the yin and yang of Schlager-Pop. One of them has a moustache and the other doesn’t. One of them plays the keyboards live and the other one doesn’t. Together they’re Xiroi, whose music masterfully depicts the very minutiae of Germany–a land where music and comedy are inextricably linked.

A lot of questions have been asked about Xiroi: Who ARE Xiroi? How DO you pronounce Xiroi? When IS the next bus to Alexanderplatz? In a world-first, BERLIN LOVES YOU got the exclusive chance to interview both Tommy and Tony from Xiroi, and perhaps we can answer some of those questions.

1) 13:35 outside Ostbahnhof.
 

SPARGEL

Spargel is Xiroi’s Kraftwerk-inspired ode to those so-German green and white spears, which really became the anthem of this year’s Spargelzeit.

2) Of all the zeits, is Spargelzeit your favourite?

Tony: Most definitely. It is the time of the season.

3) What’s your second favourite?

Tony: I’m into Weihnachtszeit as well. Ostern is okay too.

4) What is it that makes Spargel so special?

Tommy: It’s the only vegetable that got over the side dish status. So it has some really meaty qualities..

Tony: It’s a very elite vegetable, it’s very phallic too. It makes your wee smell funny. There is no end to its specialness!

5) The fight between white and green Spargel is one of our time’s biggest issues, what’re your thoughts on the matter?

Tony: The green and the white asparagus are actually brothers! They just happen to have a different upbringing and social background. But it really is the very same plant, only that the green Spargel is enlightened and the white one is still living in the dark ages.

Tommy: The white asparagus is much tougher and more underground. That’s what we tried to communicate in our song “SPARGEL”€œ: It is all about friendship, togetherness and understanding. And War. Everything is about war.

6) You got to meet the Spargel Königin. Is there any greater honour?

Tony: I don’t think there is. I mean she is the Queen of Asparagus, the “€žKönigsgemüse”€œ as we say. In my opinion that makes her some sort of Kaiserin even. Like Romy Schneider in “žSissi”€œ, you know. But most importantly, the Beelitzer Spargelkönigin, Sarah Wladasch, is an incredibly nice and friendly person. It was an honour to meet her and have her in our video. She even came to the release party for a Spargel hot dog.

Tommy: We were really afraid that she might feel appalled about all that crazy stuff in the video… but after we showed it to the crowd, she cheered the most. You can imagine our relief.
 

FROSCH IM HALS

Released smack-bang in the middle of Flu Season 2016, Frosch im Hals tackles an issue that affects all of us (especially if you a) get caught in a rain shower on without wearing a jacket or b) shake someone’s hand without immediately using an antibacterial gel afterwards).

7) What inspired you to write Frosch im Hals?

Tommy: We wanted to make a song about that moment when you already had a rough day/week and you’re really fed up…

Tony: …Schnauze voll…

Tommy: …Exactly, and finally the weekend is in sight, but suddenly you feel this itch in your throat and you just know you’re going to be sick. A terrible situation.

8) Do you have any tips for how to avoid catching a frog in the throat?

Tony: Always take a scarf with you. Don’t kiss strangers unless they’re really hot… or very friendly.

Tommy: Never kiss anyone with Frosch im Hals basically.

Tony: French people are the exception to that rule.

9) What’re the best Xiroi Frosch im Hals remedies?

Tony: Schnapps in Hals. Get them wasted. That’s the only way.
 

DREISSIG

Xiroi’s music covers all of life’s big milestones. Dreissig is arguably their most epic song and will ring true for everyone at least once in their lives.

10) What was the worst thing about turning 30?

Tony: The Angst. But it’s mostly before.

Tommy: The Hangover. It lasts three times longer than in your 20s. That’s just not fair. It’s like your body is telling you: “Get your shit together dude!” But your späti says: “I’m always open.”

11) How have your lives changed since you went through ‘the change’?

Tony: The Angst

Tommy: The Hangover

12) What’re your thoughts about turning 40?

Tony: I personally don’t have strong feelings about 40. I think 60 is the next big thing, but I can start thinking about that once I turn 50.
 

BOYS CHAT

Famously camera shy, we found out what the boys REALLY think about the serious issues.

13) Let’s talk moustaches. Tony, where’s yours?

Tony: We established a one-stache rule at some point. Right now it’s Tommy’s tenure.

Tommy: Every 10 years we switch. I’ve had mine since I turned 30. So at 40 we celebrate ‘Stacheswap. It’s going to be a three-day festival with a lot of booze, sexy people and Spargel.

14) Being in Xiroi, you must get a lot of attention from die Frauen. How do you deal with that?

Tony: We get some attention from people…

Tommy: As Groucho Marx said: “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.”

15) Can you give us some hints about what’s next from Xiroi? An album, maybe?

Tony: For a long time our main goal was to play a gig in Mallorca, where we had two glorious vacations as teenagers. The name XIROI comes from a place called “Hotel Pool-Discotheque Xiroi” that we frequented back then…

Tommy: …But our horizons have broadened. The idea is definitely to go global. We’re thinking musicals, Pixar soundtracks, U.S. of A…

Exciting stuff! Thanks for the chat boys. Hopefully next time we speak, Xiroi will have broken into Mallorca.