“4/5, and That’s Unheard Of”: Primavera Sound Festival Bingo
By Allison Krupp . July 3, 2018
Primavera Sound Festival, Barcelona, Spain. A beach-side festival boasting some of the year’s best acts, from legacy to Pitchfork-approved, along the Mediterranean. We—the Berlin Loves You tribe—descend like rodents, scurrying across Parc del Forum on shaky sunburnt knees.
They’re the best days of our lives. They’re also some of our worst.
That is: they make us monstrous, eager to bicker, and able to categorize the world around us into winners, losers, and other festival-only sights.
Of course you’re going to see an overflowing toilet, or six, or fifteen. That flower crown, propped up against sun-tinged curls of all glitter-eyed dream girls? It’s gonna flop, hard, around 3 a.m. And depending on serotonin levels, this event, and many other, menial ones, could result in heavy bouts of tears. See: Andy’s devolution into mad weeping at Slayer last year.
So, in the midst of seeing the great God, Bjork, descend from the heavens in a cockroach mask, surrounded by many million flute-playing angels; falling to our knees during Nick Cave’s growling satanic rituals; listening to a Spanish multi-hatted band draw up their non-lyrical take on a John Steinbeck book; scream-crying the lyrics to every single Arctic Monkeys song (some of us); falling in wave-after-wave of Slowdive’s incredible return to prime Shoegaze…
— in the midst of all that —
Berlin Loves You played Primavera Festival Bingo, Extreme Version.
For this, the easy stuff wasn’t gonna cut it. It had to be out-of-this-world, much like Primavera Sound Festival herself. No stereotypes. Only revitalizing show-stoppers need apply.
1. Girl Boosting Guy on Shoulders
Little rave girlies waving arms atop boyfriends’ sagging shoulders are a dime a dozen at a music fest. The true glory for Festival Bingo lies with finding a woman eager and built-like-a-truck-enuff to boost a man above the seething crowd. And we saw it with one of Berlin Loves You’s own mid-way through Skepta, the London grime legend, who flocked into Barcelona after the Migos cancellation. He knew that we needed him to nab this essential Bingo square.
2. Mother and Daughter Wearing Same Ironic Costume (But It’s Not Ironic for the Mom)
Mother-daughter selfies, framed with accidental fingers, into infinity.
3. Legacy Indie Rocker Making Drunken Jokes That Don’t Quite Land
Looking at you, Matt Berninger of The National.
4. Rando Drunk Person Latching onto Your Crew
You have a new friend who’s forgotten their name and can’t keep their tongue in their mouth. Congratulations!
5. Woman Having Absolute Crushing Meltdown Near Bathrooms
Sally, he left you for a glitter-raver down at the Aperol dance stage. Pull yourself up by your ironic combat boots and dance your tits off to Confidence Man. It’s the only way to get through this heartache.
6. Baby Wearing Noise-Protective Headphones
We can never be as hip as the next generation, and it’s time for us to stop trying.
7. Knock yourself out with a FREE SPACE
8. Bonafide “Hip Person” Explaining Last Three Albums Were “Complete Shit” to Everyone in Crowd
Thank you so much for your input. Your screeching voice heightens the emotional density of this track. No, no, it’s super cool you read Consequence of Sound. I’ve skimmed articles, too.
9. Bearded Burly Man in Slayer T-Shirt
This man–possibly named Stanley–is keeping the dream alive.
Got three in a row? You WIN Primavera Festival Bingo! And take these examples and run with them. Festival Bingo is available for all festivals around Berlin and Europe throughout the summer.
Also: catch up with us next year at Primavera Sound 2019! It’s the most incredible festival on the circuit. Don’t miss it again.