Görlitzer Park, or Görli as it’s affectionately known, has long been a cultural hub in Berlin.
To all of us, Görli is long summer nights spent with friends, hearing the faint strum of an unsolicited acoustic guitar. It’s carnage on the first of May, losing each other in the crowd. It’s getting hit by Frisbee Jesus‘s frisbee.
Here’s a list of all the exciting things you can do at Görlitzer park:
1) Sit on the grass
Seek out your own meagre outcrop of grass, checking first that it’s not occupied by trash, and have a nice sit. Remember to look out for dogshit before you put your canvas bag next to you and use your cigarette/rollie stubs to kill off any new grass that’s trying to grow!
2) Fuck a pony
3) Ride the waves at Wellenbad am Spreewaldplatz
Wellenbad am Spreewaldplatz is a Berliner Bäder swimming pool on the west side of Görlitzer park. The complex contains three pools, a sauna and even a wave machine which turns the kids’ splash pool into a white-knuckle ride every 30 minutes. This swimming pool and sauna is perfect for those looking for a serious work out, or just to… let off a little steam.
4) Have a beer
Sterni, Pilsator, whichever’s your style, Checkpoint Ali’s Spätkauf will certainly provide what you’re looking for. You don’t even need to find a bin for your empty bottles! Also, push your used bottle caps into the park’s mud using the heel of your boot and see if you can make them disappear underground completely.
5) Take a piss in a bush
The perimeter of the park serves as an excellent toilet for all species and genders. Find the perfect spot for yourselves – perhaps somewhere secluded or perhaps you’re an exhibitionist and prefer peeing out in the open. If you’re feeling a little sheepish, climb that little hill where the grass is a bit longer and relieve yourself through that metal fence near the south entrance.
6) Play a round of black light mini golf
The graffitied building in the Görlitzer Bahnhof end of Görli houses Schwarzlicht Minigolf, a kitsch but fun little place where you can play crazy golf in a myriad of psychedelic and futuristic black-lit rooms. Wearing 3D glasses, the walls come to life as you putt your way through some Alice in Wonderland adventure/nightmare.
7) Visit the lesbian dog pond
The lesbian dog pond, a famous cruising spot found at the east end of the park, is a Berlin institution for lesbians and dogs alike. Best times to go are summer nights between 19:30 and 20:45.
8) Tuesday night jazz at Edelweiss
Every Tuesday from 22:00, Görli bar Edelweiss turns into a jazz club, featuring guest musicians and local talents Lionel Haas – piano / Daryl Taylor – bass / Rico McClarrin – drums.
9) Get a burger at Piri’s
For almost four years Piri’s has been dishing out some of Berlin’s messiest and best chicken burgers. For those who are missing spice in their lives, Piri’s homemade chili sauces run all the way from ‘oh, that’s a bit spicy’ to ‘I need to call my parents’.
10) Score some shit drugs
New in the city? Dealer on holiday? Go to Görli! In exchange for money, you can purchase a bag of twigs and stems or even some brownish powder. Concerned you won’t find the dealers? Don’t worry! They’re nice enough to come directly to you, then actively harass you throughout your stay at Görlitzer park.
What’s your favourite thing to do at Görli? Let us know in the comments.